Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Molestiae omnis voluptatem sed assumenda et.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I have complete contempt for fakery

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I see through liars

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

13 million years ago, this object released as much energy as a billion suns in a fraction of a second! - Farmingdale Observer

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Can you explain the difference between a shower cap and a hair bonnet?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have a reading level above third grade

Is it ok to be spanked by your parents if you are not in bed in your set bedtime?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Cal Raleigh’s heroics can’t save Mariners as Orioles complete sweep - The Seattle Times

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can count

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know who the president of Turkey really is

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can read

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”